Am I a terrible person?

I lie sometimes.

I automatically tell people that I'm doing great;
that I love college,
I'm making tons of friends
and having a blast.

Yes, maybe that makes me a terrible person

but

it's what they want to hear.

They wouldn't know how to react if I told them otherwise.

Don't you dare look out your window; darling, everything's on fire.

Apparently every song makes me cry lately.

Like this.

(Don't you love when there is that one song that's dedicated to a specific purpose
and you know what it's supposed to be about,
but for you, it doesn't matter?
Because for you, it's telling your story.)

And this.

And this.

Don't judge. It's a good song, okay? 

(P.S. Creepy old grandma Katy Perry alert.... don't say I didn't warn you.)

And this.

Crying. All because of the simple heart-wrenching beauty.

Someone tell me how to find a happy medium.

Funny how in just one year you can go from being labeled "an inherent flirt"

to having absolutely no comprehension of the word whatsoever

 or how the hell you go about becoming one.

I have a niece.

She's kind of adorable.

Even when she's kind of upset with me.

S.A.D.

Happy Singles Awareness Day. Aw yeeeeahs.

Whoever came up with that acronym thought they were hilarious.




Oh, and P.S.--Cleaning checks on Valentine's Day? Really? Doesn't that go against everything BYU believes about dating lots and lots and getting married as soon as possible?

What the cuss.
Is all I have to say about that.

I don't care what they say.

"But you can't really fall in love during high school. It's just not possible."

           --Lots of voices, mostly cynics.

Well I happen to believe that I did in fact do just that. Did that love reach the capacity that it will when I am older? Maybe not. But all I know is that I loved more than I had ever loved before. And I don't know what the cynics call that, but for me, it was unequivocally, without a doubt, in love.

And I don't regret any of it.

Morning, Darling.

Darling.

Isn't it the most... well, darling word you've ever heard?

I used to think my favorite word was whimsical or incandescent or nonsensical.

But then I realized that whenever I hear the word darling, suddenly it's like a million tiny fairies are dancing around on my heart and making it tickle.

When I get married (ahem... excuse me, I meant, if I get married... let's not make any assumptions here), I will fall even more in love with my husband if he wakes me up every morning with a "Morning, darling" and a kiss on the head.

Just puttin' that out there.

NOT that it's required... 'twould simply be a cherry on the top. ;)

Cheers, darling.

Stars.

The song.
The band.

Those holes in the sky that form perfect little storybook pictures.

I obviously have a fetish. (And no, not the creepy psychological meaning; I mean the one that means "any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion.")

Unquestioning devotion? Yeeeahss... that's me.

I'm actually,

kind of,

obsessed.

I don't even know why.

I guess I just like the idea that even though there are all these points of light which are seemingly exact replicas of each other, you come to realize that they are each a different size and at a different level in the universe. Yet each has the capacity to contribute light to the world.

And when they are arranged in just the right way, together they tell

the most beautiful stories.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

                  --I sometimes want to scream.

But I don't,
because
that would be rude.

And might give them license to ask me

the same question.